Chicken Diets — Oh My Gosh!

Okay – last week had to be the max. I’m always on a diet of one kind or another. Usually it’s a see food diet. I see food. I eat. But, I had decided to do the low cal diet in combination with a juice fast that was supposed to kick start my *NEW* weight loss program.

But, trust me, there comes a point where you don’t want juice, you don’t want “diet” anything, you want real, honest to goodness, chew food. Chicken is perfect for chew food, so says Oris George. So, there I was cooking up a quick meal of chicken for dinner.

It’s perfect. Low calorie. No fat. Great taste. And best of all, I could add hot sauce. And we all know how much I like hot sauce. Broiled chicken, or even grilled chicken on the George Foreman, is a favorite.

Two tablespoons of the ULTIMATE homemade hot sauce, guaranteed to let you know you’ve had flavor. Made with 1 Jalapeno pepper (seeded), 1/2 a tomato, 1/4 of an onion and a little salt and pepper to taste, this hot sauce offers a little bit of Zing, even when you’re not on a diet. But, this time, I wanted extra flavor so I included the seeds out of the pepper and a second whole Jalapeno Pepper. Toss it all in a small bullet blender and whir away your troubles.

The finished salsa looked more like tomato puree with Jalapeno seeds than anything else, and smelled hotter than an M-80 in a fox hole. But I really like hot food so, I spread a lethal dose of it over my chicken breast – perfectly cooked to tender and juicy, took a knife and fork out on the deck to the table with a glass of fresh squeezed lemon water (no sugar).

The first bite coaxed a little bit of a kick out of the salsa, but the chicken was delicious. I cut off another bite and loaded it up with salsa. My mouth burned a bit, but swallowing wasn’t a biggie, and I loved the feel of the salsa going down. Nice and cool with a kick.

By the third bite I was thinking I really liked the salsa on the chicken, and really added quite a lot more of it to the top of my little bite of the bird. I noticed there were a few more seeds in that bite, but it had been good so far… I took the bite. Followed it with the glass of lemon water and headed inside for more of something to cool the burn that had suddenly taken over my esophagus. I could feel it all the way down. But, still, there’s a sensation of eating something extra hot that I like so I went back for another bite or two. By the time I got to the last five bites of the chicken, I was out of salsa, so I went inside to get a little more.

I emptied the bottom of the blender bullet onto my chicken and liberally added more to each bite I took. The burn had pretty much ceased in my mouth and I didn’t feel the need to drink a lot of anything, but I decided a nice cool half of avocado would be great for dessert. So, I took my avocado half back to the porch. Over the next thirty minutes or so, I sipped another glass of lemon water and finished off my half of the avocado, while reading a book.

That’s when it started. In the pit of my tummy, I realized there was a burning sensation. It grew. I began to feel warm all over. I sat there on the deck reading and thinking about the meal I’d just enjoyed, wondering if I’d enjoyed too much of a good thing. My knees felt a little warm, my elbows were quite toasty, and when I looked down my toe nails were on fire.

Honest… That’s my story. And I’m sticking to it. That’s how my feet got burned on the chicken diet!

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