There’s been so much talk about people having SAFE places, a Safe Room for college students, or being politically correct, polite, and not rude in discussions online, and ultimately, accusations of being rude if you don’t respond the way another wants you to respond. The levels of stupid in this particular discussion can’t even begin to compete with the level of the national debt even, but I really do want to ‘go there’ and straighten out a few weird assumptions.
If you’re on facebook and expecting everyone to respond in a politically correct, polite voice, you’re dreaming. It isn’t a safe place, and everyone has an opinion. Everyone has every right to state their opinion, and your opinion is no more right than mine. If you don’t like my opinion, that’s YOUR opinion. Bottomline, it doesn’t matter whether you like or don’t like it, if it’s mine, on my wall, I control the delete button. You can complain, or file a complaint, but the reality is, it’s still my wall, my opinion. Say what you want on your wall. But if you jump on my wall and accuse me of being rude – I’m liable to delete your accusation. My wall.
2 – It’s okay to disagree.
I’m an opinionated person, and most of my friends have their own opinions. I may or may not agree with them. Many of them know I don’t agree with them, before they ask. That’s okay, we’re still friends. Generally, we don’t have harsh words over opinions, at least not unless we’re really having an in depth discussion about a topic. In which case, we know when the subject comes up that we’re probably not going to agree, and we chose to discuss it anyway.
We have choices. We can stick around, have our discussion and walk away friends, because friends don’t have to agree about everything, or we can walk away angry. If you’re unable to have a discussion without getting angry, you might want to stay out of those discussions. If I recognize you as THAT person, I most likely will avoid specific topics with you present. That doesn’t mean we’re not friends, it means I know you can’t handle my opinion. It doesn’t mean I agree with you, nor does it mean that I no longer have my own opinion.
3 – Eggshells aren’t safe.
If you’ve ever stepped on dried eggshells, or sliced a finger open with egg shells in the kitchen, you know that walking on eggshells around someone isn’t any way to feel safe. Expecting others to walk on eggshells to protect your tender feelings isn’t nice either. Why? Why would you expect your family or friends to hold back their feelings, or talk to you as if you’re ‘tender’ always? None of that doesn’t make you a good friend.
Walking on eggshells is one of the fastest ways I know to end a friendship, because eventually the eggshells break. And when they do, neither person has anything left to save. A friendship where one person is forever ‘feeling injured’ and the other is ‘forever held responsible for feelings HE isn’t in control of’ is not a real friendship.
“When you are spiritually connected, you are not looking for occasions to be offended, and you are not judging and labeling others. You are in a state of grace in which you know you are connected to God and thus free from the effects of anyone or anything external to yourself.”
At the end of the day, if you choose to take offense at what others say to you, you’re wasting your own power. You’re giving them more power over your feelings than you’re taking for yourself, because only YOU can really choose what offends you. And you can’t control what others say.
That’s the ultimate reality. You can’t control what others say.
People in this world will say things to you and about you that have nothing to do with you, because their opinions belong to them. Choosing to be offended by that is a choice YOU make for your own life.
Be accountable to yourself for your opinion and don’t try to hold others accountable, because it does NOT work.
Social media has opened doors for a lot of communication, and offers many an opportunity to share their views in a public way. Without it, many people held their tongues, and didn’t say what they believed. That may have been a good thing. It may even have been a blessing in disguise, but the reality of having this option to communicate now has brought a lot of visibility to opinion, verbiage, and ideas that were never shared before.
That may be a blessing as well.
Feel free to leave a comment below. Your opinion may be wrong or right, but it’s your opinion and you can share it here.